I have had a few people ask me how I think I am going to achieve the success that Im looking for without signing to a label. The thing is Im not sure what your definition of success is but for me Its getting my music on the internet, easy. From there I still have many many ties and a foot in the door with the big bad music industry :) All I want is to sell enough music and Merch so I can tour, make enough money on tour to contribute to my beautiful family and help anyone I can in need. I saw the hideous face of fame and am not looking for that, I also have no interest in having more money than I need. I have music in my heart and soul that has to come out and be shared. Thats all I want to do, without expectations :) There are certain levels I believe one has to balance between in order to find their own peace and happiness….. working hard, having faith and contentment that whatever is meant for me will happen and be just what i need (whether its a crazy huge career or a sweet small humble one) and giving love to anyone around me. The path I am taking my career down will allow me to also be in direct contact with my fans so I can take my tours to wherever they are :) I know my life is only getting better, my music is going to grow and grow and Im not scared one bit. Love.
If you dont care to hear my entire life story and wish to skip ahead to life as I know it now please do :) however, I’ve had this intense desire to get my tale out of my head and for my own sanity the time has come………
I was born in Salt Lake City Utah on September 18th 1985. My mom was 18, loving, and breathtaking. She had my younger brother almost 3 years later and it was just the three of us for awhile. My childhood was beautiful. My mom let me be who I am. She provided, taught, protected and above all loved, loved the shit out of us :) who could ask for more. She grew up singing and even had her own band for many years so the moment I could I was singing along with her, in the car mainly. We spent hours and hours in the car and it was a kind of heaven for me. Singing became a necessary part of every single day. There is a huge HUGE difference between the days I sing and the days I dont. Always has been always will be. I vote for days with songs :) So I kept growing right on up. I loved school and did well in my classes. I was kind of loud and thought I was hilarious so I got a teacher frown here and there but mainly school was fun and I tried hard at anything put in front of me. I took all the choir and music classes I could and loved it. Until I wasn’t getting solos. I got a little solo in Jr High (Thanks Ms Puzey:) But then Notta. SQUAT. No small part in a musical, no one-liner in a choir song. I didnt really understand. I was pretty damn sure I could sing so I kept trying but I graduated high school without my moment to shine, shrugged my shoulders and decided I would just follow dream number one……be a mom.
The two things I love most in life are music and people. Especially people who need help. I started going to school with the goal of opening my own special needs pre-school. I had a job working with two autistic boys and it was wonderful. I had worked in a nursing home in early high school and knew I loved the elderly but special needs just opened up a part of my heart that changed me. I was going to school and eventually found myself feeling extremely helpless about special education and the laws surrounding it. I decided to to take a break from school to figure out what to do. But I promised myself I would find a way to make enough money and be in a certain position to help my incredible special friends as soon as possible. It was around this time I met and fell in love with my sons dad. We dated for a few months and I found myself pregnant and ready to marry him. We had some wonderful, magical times while I was pregnant and then my perfect lifes purpose was born. He changed me forever and from that day on nothing else mattered even a pinch as much as him. He is my whole life. After settling into motherhood and working full time (designing fonts) from home for a while things got hard in my marriage. For a million tiny reasons we struggled to find the right balance that we both needed and just couldnt find it. A few months after our boy turned one I made the beyond painful decision to start the divorce process. We decided we would share our sons time equally and I moved back in with my mom. This was easily the hardest time of my life. Then 2 months later Idol came to town……
At this point I was a mess. I had no Idea what I was going to do. Single mom, still in intense emotional pain, and although font money was good I would need more if I was ever going to get out on my own again. Thats when my mom found out Idol was coming to Utah. Now I have had almost every family member I have try to get me to Idol auditions in the past, willing to pay for and drive me to the closest city hosting auditions. For a few years everyone tried…. and my response? Hell No! What a waste of time, reminder family: I NEVER MAKE ANYTHING. So I would refuse and that was that. BUT this year it was different because the auditions were in my backyard. At first it was a straight up NO. She wouldnt give up though, no way. She brought it up constantly for weeks. Finally I caved and agreed to go to the first round, just for her. I was absolutely convinced it was a waste of time and planned on sleeping through it all. When we got to the arena for round one I was pleased to prove that I was right, waste of time. There were THOUSANDS of SUPER talented people there, all singing the whole time. I could hear voices that blew my mind. I also heard voices that made me want to lose my mind. ALL voices were already in competition mode, singing as loud as they could, I put my hood on and told my mom to wake me up when she had to :) Then BAM my time came and what the hell… I made it. round one. They loved me. I couldnt freaking believe it. after that it was a whirlwind and each round I passed the more convinced I became that the next time I would be cut. I was just getting lucky but come hollywood and beyond I would be long gone. Wull shit guys it just didnt turn out that way. I found myself soaring right along time after time. I did get cut early once but then to my surprise the judges picked me as a wild card and I was back in the game. I remember constantly telling myself if I could just make top ten I would get to go on tour and make enough money to get me and my son our own place. That was all I was wishing and hoping for, working my ass off for, suffering through extreme emotions while away from my son and going through a complicated, miserable custody process. But I knew it would all be worth it and Hey I was even getting to sing my way through it. On a real stage for the first time. It was a kind of magic I could never fully explain. Life during American Idol was the best and worst days of my life and I wouldnt change a thing. One day I will get specific about what happened on and around the show for me, but thats a long looong story that I will tell another time. SO I was in complete shock and overwhelmed with appreciation when I found myself in the top ten. I did it. I would go on tour and make a little money to give us a head start. Miracles. I got cut at 9th place. Not bad :) The season finale came and went and we prepared to go on tour. I would sing two solos and be in two group numbers and never feel bad about not getting a solo in high school ever again :) We toured the US, went up into canada a litte and it was the longest, craziest, hardest, funnest, absolutely incredible, most exhausting summer in every single way ever. I will also have to tell that story another time.
I would like to pause here to say thank you. Thank you to all the people who voted for me when I was on the show. I could never fully express my love and appreciation. You changed my life forever. Also thank you to the people who saw the tour and cheered me on and once again turned me into a new person. I will never forget why I am where I am….. all the people who believed in me and took the time to make a difference. Thank you forever.
Tour ended and I came back to utah a week before my 24th birthday. I came back to my quiet life in the mountains and felt pretty crazy. I still had a million people calling me and wanting to work with me or offer my things. It was more than I could handle. I honestly didn’t think I had a real chance to be a musician. I thought I got lucky enough to have a moment on TV and that would be that. But life seemed to have a different plan for me. I had an agent and she had many people trying to contact me through her. I decided to give it a shot and sit down with a couple mangers to hear what my options were. I found some I didn’t like then one I did like and dove in. Because I had no experience in songwriting or recording (pretty much no experience in any area of the entertainment world) We decided co-writing with some pro’s was the way to get my feet wet. I always liked writing stories and in journals but a song was new for me. From the moment I met my first co-write I loved it. I wrote 2 songs in two days and came alive. This went on for about a year. I flew to LA every 4 days to work day and night then back home for 4 days with my son. It was hard times continued but I felt the world shifting and It felt like maybe life could be simple again one day if I just worked my ass off as long as it took, so I did. I ended up with 23 beauuuutiful songs. I wrote most of the lyrics and lots of melodies and some of the greatest musicians in the biz did the rest. I still cant believe how fortunate I am. After that I was encouraged by my manager, attorney, agent and producers to look for a label to call home. I met with every major label there is. A lot of them loved me and a lot of them liked me but had no interest in an “Idol Kid”. It was an awful miserable process. I had all these old dudes telling me who I needed to be or sound like or what kind of music I should make Blah blah blah. everywhere everyone had an opinion and you know what, Im just me. I want to sing all sorts of things, many many different genres and I plan to. I will dress exactly how I like to. And above all I will control my time. I promised myself that I would never let someone else control how much time I spend being a mother. Im a mother first and always. Singing is fun, I’m great at it and think I could help many people through my voice but nothing comes before my son. I got offers for random things and a couple label offers and the things I passed on were not for me and the things I considered fell apart on their own. For those of you not in the music world Labels are in trouble. We artists dont really need them anymore and its causing some chaos. Now that we have the internet it changes everything and people at labels are freaking out. It took me a little too long to see this for myself. But I finally see that I can put my music out myself. I can own everything that I create, control my touring and time spent away. And live my life peacefully, quietly and calmly. No expectations. Finally.
* A side note that also changes everything is that I found my soulmate :) We were introduced by a producer. He suggested we write together since we both live in Utah. We met at a park last August to write a song but instead couldn’t stop talking. Instantly best friends which quickly turned into instantly in love. We have been inseparable ever since. He is the most brilliant, kind, intelligent, loving, caring, funny, fun BEST man in every way I have ever known. He is super successful in music and has been for around 10 years. His knowledge has helped me more than any person every did out in the LA mess. I am so so blessed to have him by my side and my music will thrive more than ever because of his influence. Coming up soon we are going to start a new project together and it will be wonderful. Stay tuned for that.
Wrapping this whole thing up, here is where I stand now. I’m building a website and getting on top of my social media. I was a fool and thought I would get signed and someone else would be doing that for me…. HA. so dumb meg :) I apologize for the lazy delay on that and am obviously working on correcting this problem. I am about to start a campaign with Kickstarter… a site that will help me raise enough money to finish my album so I can put it out. Then I will use my site along with a few other resources to sell my music and merch!!! THEN its tour time.
Sheeesh. Thats my story in a tiny tiny nutshell. I will fill in the blanks as time goes on. Thanks for taking the time to read all of that. It just feels good to get it out. NOW ON WITH MY MISSION……….